Thursday, 27 August 2015

Chinese Therapeutic Massage....

Its been a tough call getting out here in one sane peace and underneath our Hotel there is a 'Healing hands' establishments, a big place open until 4am...4am eh...I wondered if they had any special finish packages but as I was with other half I could not ask!!.

Its cheap though for one hour massage and it was a full hour, it cost 68MR (£10.40) one hour for £10....think about that.

Now this young pretty thing came through and I thought this will be painless, she cant hurt hoo..., she could not speak proper English and so around we went into what seemed to be a large hall but all sectioned of with loads of massage beds all with there own curtains that fully enclosed them. She then asked me to put on some shorts? so I did, Stephanie was in the cubicle next to me and they gave her a long skirt the mistake she made was wearing it like a long skirt leaving her tits out, this made the girls giggle because it was supposed to go over her tits not hang off her hips!!!!!. ha ha...

I should have also noticed the bars on the roof but it was a bit dark and I was excited wasn't I, but those bars were to mean pain later on.

I laid down as requested and she started - the massage type was classic Chinese therapeutic massage, not swiss or anything Scandinavian which is relaxing and oily.....oh no this is ''you wan me to break back ok'' style.....They use there elbows and knees and heels and knuckles to get to your knots....and their weight when walking on you

Every time I groaned she giggled it was very painful in a refreshing kind of way..mmm on second thoughts that could be a lie, the memory is too hard to bring back, then she stood on me back holding onto to those bloody bars on the roof and walked all over me jumping and cracking my back back into alignment. sigh...

After that she did something a little bit horny, she laid across me and sat her buttocks on mine and rolled about using her arse as a massage device?? she was dressed of course it was only 8pm...interesting to say the least. so after a bit of laying on me and wobbling, she whacked my back a few times more and wandered off and got some bloody hot towels and draped them over me.....they were very hot indeed.

then it was over and she very kindly offered me another hour, a beaten man I politely said no thanks and crawled off to the loo to lick me wounds.

After a cold cup of tea, we left....fumy though I tipped her..I must be a masochist, maybe just maybe I liked it.

Monday, 24 August 2015

We have arrived in Malaysia......

We have arrived after a lush and very long but very posh flight, I loved Air Ethiad they were superb, we had a transfer in the middle and we had to run for that in Abu Dhabi and when they opened the door on to the tarmac as we had to walk on this 2nd plane to KL I had an immediate moist moment (I wish that happened more often to be honest but at my age...) the heat was sigh...intense for sure and a sign of what's to come and it was 2am -  it was 33c (90% Hum).

When we arrived we were greeted by the very casual Tenby school group but they were fantastic, sorted us all out and got us on the little mini bus to get us all to our hotel, we were to honest shattered by this point and I just wanted me bed, as i walked outside booom another moist moment and we hit real Malay air, got into the mini bus and I have never seen air con be switched on so quick. Off we went to our Hotel. the drive to our Hotel offered up the chance to see Malaysia close up and it is very lush very green and very beautiful even from the side of the motorway you can get a feel for the place, yes slightly backward in some ways but so beautiful its easily forgiven. the shaped trees and shrubs and flowers along the central reservation all add to this greenery that I adore so much, 

Malaysian Hotels are very opulent in a cheesy kind of Haven Holidays way, except Haven would never have marble in its reception. The staff are very attentive to the point of being odd to a independent person like me, they open doors for you, sort of waft you in with their arm, beaming with feels nice, engineered slightly. 

The room was nice and we settled well, the evening saw a rather shocking moment as we were all having dinner and someone (a new teacher) collapsed and had a fit a seizure if you like but the noise she made was very scary, this immediately ended all speeches and the night was curtailed, suffice to say she was ok in the end I never ate what she was eating and we all went out to get lashed. 

They serve your beer in these, they can use glasses but we had these beers towers. they are 3 litres, go down very quick and don't last as long as you'd like, cost in this KL bar $115(MR) in £'s that's about £21 each, we had about 4, mind you there were a lot of us. Things is we were taken out by the Heads of the school, who'd we only just met, and it was all on the school credit card, and these didn't seem to be the best people to get pissed in front of as ya know your trying to the end though they were more pissed than us, so it was all on. great fun, great fun great people.  

The next day was not a good one as I was jet lagged and still pissed with a hangover....I hope I never learn. today was the day were travelling to Ipoh a 3 hour journey north in the most uncomfortable mini van I have ever seen, which needs a serious chiropractor session to recover from in a downpour that was brought forth by no one  but God himself...the roads were flooding and scooters were struggling to stay afloat in some parts of the road where the water was gathering...incredible but brief, lasted about an hour then....poof gone sunshine. 

Man I need a pee on that bus but had to wait too long before they stopped for me, our new head teacher teasing all the way...But then IPOH appeared we drove in the the Hotel which was right next to the main road so even to this day we haven't actually been into the centre yet, as we are still in the Hotel, the MH hotel and her she is. 

We are in the 12 floor, and this offers these views from our room..................

On the top floor they have the restaurant, an all sides are open for view and it is the only hotel at the height it and so these views are the same all the way around the building the mountains surge upwards as you chow down on breakie. Its good because you can watch the thunder storms come and go and you can gauge and get to see all of area from your raised position a good hotel for us to stay in, albeit basic. The staff I have to say are as before they open the doors for you whether its the front door or the car door or any other door, they open it and welcome you in.  

we are in this Hotel until we find somewhere to live (2 weeks max)  we have found somewhere to live but to get it ready and have the Aircon checked and cleaned it will take until next Saturday to move in and sort the contract out. It is a Condo on Meru Valley Golf resort. have a look below. 

Anyone for golf.....when were in we will post indoor pictures but suffice to say some things take time over hot to rush, the Spanish slower pace of life is over here its just too hot. 

Lastly for this blog some things that are strange about Malaysia in our first week. 

  • Every toilet is a wet room and in every toilet every cubicle is lower wet room, but there is a tiny drop at the entrance of both, and you always catch your ferking foot on it arrghhhh.....
  • All the number two toilets have no loo roll but they have a hose, now these are for Muslims not us westerners, but when they use them they soak the whole room the seat and everything, so we/us/me cant sit on it because its soaked and your shorts drop into the water on the floor and your bag hasn't got anywhere to go except on a wet floor, so we will always be shitting at home nuff said. 
  • cars are all automatics (mine is) no one drives a geared car they are all to lazy apparently (from a Malaysian) so this means that all roads are very safe because no one is flying around as the uptake on Autos is painfully slow so driving is such a breeze over here, just pick a lane or stay in between two no one really minds as were all crawling at 20mph anyway. 
  • They all open doors for you.....they all smile (very rare in UK). 
  • Birds fly around inside the supermarkets no one minds they seem to hang out in the cereal isle. 
  • Monkeys will steal stuff you leave outside. 
  • Chinese people don't like to get brown, they regard there own kind as being brown as farm folk poor folk and women who are brown will be ignored by wealthy Chinese men, so when they play golf even in this heat they have long sleeves on their arms and long stockings on their legs so as to make sure they do not get a tan and even whitening products do very well here amongst the Chinese. I intend to buck the trend, no Chinese lady will go near me with the tan I've got planned. 
Lastly weather....well its hot but it does change depending on the prevailing weather patterns, when it rains it cools slightly when windy it takes the edge of it but there is no getting away form the fact that it is bloody hot in a kind of er dangerous way...ha ha

you can walk around in it and get a few miles in but then you will need to seek some sort of escape whether it be simply shade or Aircon, I tried to drive with the window open and no air con on in the car assuming the breeze would cool me but no I was sweating aggressively within 10 minutes. It is a nice heat but just more than im used too, in time I will be fine,but if your coming out to see us....phew...the other issue is the Aircon in some places is too aggressive and you freeze, so its a kind of in and out lifestyle, which I dont mind because the shop houses and local curiousities draw you in as you wander anyway. 

Thats all for now feel free to ask should you want to know more. xx

Friday, 14 August 2015

Thank much....we are indebted.

So many people are being so kind as we depart offering us lifts, trips out , meals and well just plain human kindness even people we don't even know from abroad are all helping to make our transition abroad a little easier even friends on Facebook are all helping with the odd comment of support. I would like to name some of them.

Lachie, Mei & Kaylee

Thank you  so much for giving us so much of your time and offering so much good advice, not sure where we would be with out you if honest. And see you soon.

Tracy and Steve

Thank you so much for your time and love and helping in securing renters at a late stage and also your days out in the countryside never to be forgotten if honest, your time and friendship and kindness have been so heart felt by us and we are very grateful to have even met you both and become friends. x

Tezlivin and family

Thank you Tez for your friendship and support I will miss you dearly old friend, you have inspired me in many ways as an older man should I guess, I do hope you come out and visit and play more guitar, thank you so much for your invites to venues and making me play and letting me be on your CD which is still played in the car to this day. Really Thank you and I hope you come on out to see us. x

Malcolm and Ida 

Thank you Malcolm for letting us into your lives and letting me teach you the guitar (heh heh) ...and letting me play some gigs at the H&G alongside you, much like Tez I leave having been inspired by you to make something of my musical ramblings and hope to carry it all on in Malaysia, with thanks to you. I also expect to see you in Malaysia at some point in the future I really hope you make it out. I also expect to see an album in the not to distant future (no pressure then) ...oh I have found the trowels. xx

Rich Chip, Arete and family

Rich thanks for your buying my board and helping out, and Thank you for making that call that you did before departing for you holiday to say goodbye, means more than you may imagine my old friend, we lost touch way back when, hope we stay in touch and you visit SEA in the future and use our place as a base you'd be so welcome, stay in touch and don't be a stranger. Thanks.

Horse and Groom Pub Posse

They probably wont read this, but the lads down the H&G have been all so kind to me and I will miss them all dearly, there are some strange goings on and weird people down in that dungeon of a pub a social oddity for sure but it was the birth place of my open mic nights and so it has status and a place for me, the music on some nights was amazing and on others a curiosity, but this is where the magic is this is where real people are, wonderful people. Lastly Thanks to Andy and Nick who run it, always kind to me and of course it was the first venue I ever played (badly too) so to all at the Groom. Thanks.

Pat and Jeff

Thank you both for being friends whilst here in the Close you have always been there for us in so many ways even now at the end you are making sure our adventure goes without any problems in lending us your stuff, kindness defined is how I feel about you both. Jeff, I will miss you dearly, as I am sure you well know. Thanks for everything. xx

Ray and Val and immediate family

Thank you for supporting your daughters dream of travel and work and for trusting me in taking care of her whilst away, you have been very sure to send out the message that Stephanie should do this and she feels that with he backing of her parents it makes it so much easier to take on the challenge, now all you have to do is learn how to use Skype, because she will need you when out there she will need to see your faces from time to time, its a small effort with great rewards. So Thank you for the support. xx

Sarah and Scott

Thank you so much for supporting us and Stephanie through this new chapter and for lending us stuff and buying a car as yet not used and being great support, you have a wonderful new home and it was a delight helping you move in, we really want you to come out and see us so please look after yourselves and take care, we will miss you dearly until next time. xx

The Half Moon Thanks and bye......Mick see you soon.

Another stunning open mic venue I try to attend to upset the talent balance (lower it ha ha), This night is run by Mick Middleton, what a great host great all round guy and well he let me play when i had the balls to do so, its a hard venue to play because the talent is so high, essentially semi pro people waiting for their first signing attend here and for me to play its a privilege.

So Thank you Mike, and all of the people that I have enjoyed meeting there, some wonderful people even the bar staff are cool as.

Today myself and my best singer friend Tracy recorded a record in my house and tonight we got to play it live after just recording it, wow it is hard being up there but I am so proud of us both having the 'plums' to do it....what stars we were well done Tracy well done.

And so to the half moon and all that attend.............

Thanks so much.

Thursday, 13 August 2015

Horse and Groom....Thanks and bye.

The Horse and Groom, the place where I first ever had the balls to try an open mic night on my own....way back when, I was poor and no one really was that impressed, but Andy stuck with me and let me play on and gave me as many tries as I needed to get better. Thanks to Andy and be always fondly remembered I will miss the H&G for all its character and quirkiness I will miss you.

Al the characters, all the stars, all the brilliant musicians hiding away who come out on a Thursday night to show off, stunning really and none are heard on the sad, and then me making a racket with me looper, such good fun, such great characters, such nice friends all to be missed.

So I leave you H&G never to be forgotten, but to be replicated in Malaysia I hope....

Thank you to all of you have inspired me to many names to mention, but what a great venue and a great open mic.

Wednesday, 12 August 2015

Car-less....Tick Tock.

The car has gone....yep gone, I have no wheels....only peeps who love there wheels will understand the misery and damming consequences of losing ones wheels. im if honest a bit teary...after selling the car we went to catch a bus to get back to Derby but when the bus arrived he did not accept cash money!! so I could not board, can you believe that the driver was so apologetic, I said I was sorry too as I have not had to get buses for some time years in fact, (I looked at the passengers when saying this).

We have loved that car since its er well car birth we took her from the showroom through the glass walled entrance and it has never let us down, nothing on that car has ever broken ever...cant ask for more than that. We got £2500 for it cash from a lovely couple in Nottingham all paid in 20's....mmmm.

Anyway that was like having my balls removed publicly I am a car driver I hate being without the freedom mobile and that for me now is the death knell .... my life here in the UK and Derby is over, even if I return to the UK at some point later down the line I will never live in Derby again....My/Our hope is we never return here hopefully retiring in some small humble way in Portugal a little land a little pad nothing too ostentatious.

One can dream.

Our house well we are half in as are the renters all of there stuff is in here (well half of it), all bills have been shut down and we got money back too nice, all goes in the Malaysian coffers. Our washing machine has gone to WM heaven so back to the launderette for the last week (mind you I might just ya know wear the same pants for a week and then chuck em) ....

The main problem were having is getting the weight right for our suitcases and the issue is I have decided in my wisdom to travel with my guitar and some electrical items and they are taking all the weight, by the time were finished I will be left wearing me budgie smuggler speedos and nothing else....(could be fun that). we only have 30kg each plus 7kg hand luggage but i have found the loop hole, they let you take a suitcase and laptop for free, my Suitcase will be huge....

Anyway on a more serious note it is only 4 days away from leaving our lives as we know them forever, and it is a big move this is not a holiday this is life changing and were not coming back for some time maybe never. It feels strange but kind of a relief as well, as in the UK you can sometimes get the feeling your competing with everyone all the time by what you own what car you drive and what job you have, I am tired of competing I guess i just want to be and for me that means being artistic in a musical and drawing capacity, I may be able to be the real me when over there and I really want to help others esp the kids. We will be living in such a place that what you do will not dictate to us how well we live and in that sense we are free to do as we want, what feels right and not what earns us the the most money....stuff yeh some stuff is good but too much stuff is really bad, I want people in my life not things, the way i used to live way back when.

Right im off house needs to be cleaned before we leave....tick tock.

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

I like to ride my Bicycle...i like to ride my bike...

Just before we go away and live in Malaysia for two years, I was given the chance to ride the newly built veladrome in Derby, next to the Football ground in Pride Park, its only a walk away from where I live and I have watched it being built.

So for £14 and £5 shoe hire your on the boards and ready to go. Now I am 46 and not the whipper snapper i once was but i gave it my all and kept up with everyone until he unleashed those remaining and said go as fast as you like for the last 5 minutes....whooosh off we went...I really went for it but the youngsters got the better of me, but what a blast what must do it if you get the chance...I insist.

some pics of the day...

Monday, 3 August 2015

What a wonderful surprise....!!

For two years we fostered a young boy, we were phoned up last week as he is aware of our pending trip abroad and he was requesting that he met up with us before we left. We were so happy he had wanted to see us before we went and so a day out was arranged.

Today was that day and we went off in the car and had a picnic that he had made himself for us!!! And in the picnic was all of our old favourites like olives and pork pie mmmmm (the best) and we sat by the canal near Shardlow, it was a perfect sunny day it could not have been better, we were all chatting crazily and reminiscing about all the fun times we had when we were living together. for us it was great to see him growing up into a splendid young man. While we were eating by the Canal his old Head Master from his old School Lakeside came by with his wife and said hello, what a surprise for all of us to be honest....

We then headed to the pub by the canal for a drink of orange and some apple pudding with custard, I love apples and custard and so this went down a treat.

It was as you'd expect it was very emotional, and he was clearly happy to see us but a little worried about maybe never seeing us again, but he had a new mobile phone and so took our numbers so he can stay in touch, all the numbers were tested and there we were sat chatting to each other on our phones right next to each other...?! could of just chatted directly I suppose but that's tech for ya.

We loved looking after J, and we hope we never lose touch because he is part of our large family and we are part of his larger family. I hope you like your bike, and I hope you like your lego and I hope you enjoyed your day with us...x.x

You may read this J, and if you do you need to know that you will always be loved by us and we always want to hear you stories and share in your ideas and dreams for the future and we would always endeavour to help you whenever we can, YOU are always welcome in our world....pop in when ever you like for a cup of tea...

It was wonderful to catch up, we are forever a family of three.